Thursday, April 21, 2011

What I think I Need

Been short on words lately. You may have noticed. There's been so much on my mind but not a lot comes out these days. A few of weeks ago, two people in our family died just days apart. Between those things and some other stuff I already had going on, those heart breaks really just made me feel like God threw me under a truck for awhile.
I've not been the greatest at handling all the things that have been going on this spring. Instead of getting down on my knees like I should have been, I pretty much just curled up on the couch and played mindless games like Solitaire on my iPod. I quit going to Bible Study. I still showed up at church and Sunday School every week, because God draws me there.
But I didn't want to go anywhere else. So I holed up in my house whenever I could.
And I got a little sad. Lonely. A lot of people said "We'll pray for you." Which is great. Love that. Can't beat prayer. But this time I needed so much more and that's all people had to give. No one reached out by stopping by the house or picking up the phone to call or even dropping an email. That was tough to handle.
It was at those times to realize that I needed to rely only on God, that He is the ONLY one who will never, ever disappoint. He is the ONLY one who will NEVER, ever let me down. Ever. He can't-- its not even in His holy nature to do so.
Funny thing though. It was when I finally cemented this belief back into my heart about three days ago --that I just don't NEED anyone else except for Jesus, He TRULY is all sufficient-- that God allowed other people to do a few things for me that I thought I needed a few weeks ago. Funny how that works, isn't it? A surprise gift showed up on my doorstep from a friend that lifted my spirits. Someone else got all silly and painted my toenails bright pink to cheer me up. The baby is in a super-cuddly phase and wants to put her head down on my shoulder, all curled up in my lap (my favorite thing in the WORLD with kids!) and has fallen asleep in my lap twice today. I think that usually, once we remember Who it is we really need, He will allow others to step in and supply some of those needs for us. Clever guy, He is.

Philippians 4:19 (New International Version, ©2011)19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

1 comment:

Michelle's Day said...

So sorry you're going through hard stuff! But I'm glad you see the opportunity to rely on God. And so glad to hear about friends coming around to cheer you up, too :-)