Well thank goodness someone wrote these warning labels on products for me. Heaven forbid I should have to think for myself. Now i can stop being so stupid! I found these at http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml
Here are just a few of my favorites:
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. (OUCH!~WHO FOUND THAT ONE OUT THE HARD WAY?)
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
Do you think, REALLY? :
Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
(As opposed to the hot section of the fridge?)
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. (Oh!! stop limiting my options, dang it!)
May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. (There goes my hammer-swallowing act I was going to start up in my circus act. Darnit.)
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. (oh the irony!)
"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp. (Should I scream too?)
"Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. LOL
Have we really gotten this stupid? (Please do not answer.)
"Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.
"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
"Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.