Wednesday, August 5, 2009

"Do You Still Like Me?" [Insecurity Insanity]

I used to be horribly insecure. To the point that I would break out in a cold sweat if I thought that I had offended someone or done something wrong. "Do you still like me?" "Do you still care about me?" "Do you still love me?" were questions I asked people ALL THE TIME. My insecurity was enormous, and it wouldn't surprise me if it was one of the things that ended some of my relationships. It probably drained the life out of people-- always having to remind me that I was still "okay" in their eyes. I'm sure it drove other people nuts, because it drove ME nuts-- and I was the one asking the questions.
Its a lousy thing to feel insecure all the time. You always wonder if you're measuring up to everyone else's standards (which are endlessly changing) and if everyone in the world approves of you. You have to constantly change yourself to measure up to a line that is never in the same place. Its exhausting.
But guess what? I have discovered that there is only One Person that I really have to get the approval of (the world will tell you that you only have to have your own approval, but that's only half true)--and that's God.
I no longer have to wonder or worry what people think of me because I know that God fully approves of me. He MADE me (read Psalm 139 for a real waker-upper!). God thinks about me all the time.
I don't have to care anymore if people still like me or not. I mean, I don't go around ticking people off on purpose, but, I don't HAVE to have people approve of me anymore because God approves of me. God's love is constant and never, ever changes. He doesn't care if I have another grey hair. That dumb thing I did yesterday? After I ask for forgiveness, He's completely forgotten about it-- unlike people, who tend to hold grudges. God just forgives and forgets.
Do you know what God really, truly thinks about you and me?
Once I become a Christian, and ask God to forgive me of my sins, God accepts me and loves me unconditionally because of what Jesus did on the cross for me.
Read a bit of Psalm 45: He is enthralled by your beauty.
Did you catch that? ENTHRALLED.
The maker of the universe is entralled by you. By me. Captivated. In love. With you! With me!
Where else can you get a deal like that?
As long as I keep my mind on God and what He thinks of me, worrying about what people think of me just feels petty. Worrying what I think of me just seems petty.
That cellulite on my thighs? God knows its there. That wrinkle I've got going across my forehead? It was put there by His hands.
Do I still worry about what I look like? Do I ever wonder if a certain person likes me? Yah, sometimes. But I'm no longer a prisoner to it. It lasts a couple minutes, instead of days. I still check out the Oil of Olay line of products, just in case I need to attack some wrinkles or de-atomize my face or whatever those creams do. I still exercise every day...okay, just about every day. But if people don't like how I look without makeup, or my Eeyore t-shirt and cutoff jeans, well, tough on them. God looks at me and says, "Take a look at HER.... I made her. Isn't she precious?"
God thinks the same about YOU.
If you'd like to learn more about how God thinks YOU are fantastic, read these two AMAZING books:
Do You Think I'm Beautiful? By Angela Thomas
The Search for Significance by Robert McGee

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