The baby is learning to walk.
Heaven help us all ;)
She has been working on it for a few weeks now...baby steps. One step, and then she falls. Sometimes two steps, and then she falls. Its been more of an experience of learning how to crash properly than learning how to walk properly. ;)
On Friday she made it 17 steps--yes, SEVENTEEN, hallelujah!-17 steps across the kitchen floor before falling down. Quite proud of herself.
I thought, oh boy...here we go. Big steps from here on out.
But the rest of the day she took just 1 or 2 or 3 steps at a time. No more lenghty treks across the kitchen for baby, even as proud as she was of herself. I guess that one long journey was enough for one day.
Have you ever been like that? Been taking baby steps for a while...1 or 2 steps towards a goal for a long time...and then did something that surprised yourself, taken a HUGE step, did something really big? Something that maybe even made you pretty proud of yourself. Wow, look what I did! And then realized, wow, what did I just do?? Then perhaps you go back to baby steps for a while.
Time to back off a little. Don't want to get anywhere too fast. We like baby steps. They are safe. Those giant steps...they're a little uncomfortable. A little scary. Fun, maybe...but unknown.
The past year has been a series of baby steps AND giant steps for me through faith. Sometimes God jumps in and helps me take a leap. But even baby steps are not easy for me. Always was one of those "I'll just stand right here and watch YOU walk around" kind of people. So any step, no matter how small, was good. Recently, I've been taking more giant steps than baby steps. Scary, but fun, and certainly interesting. And I figured, at least I'm on the move now. How about you? Are you a baby stepper?
Right now I am feeling a little gunshy, a little unsure or myself. Searching. Wondering what God has in store for me, if I actually have the abilities I thought I had. Am I who I say I am? How much of this is really me and how much of it is God working through me? Does He want me to do more? I feel like I can't possibly be doing less. Right now I feel ineffective. I feel small and alone. Today I wonder if I am taking even baby steps.
The thing is, whether I take baby steps or big steps or no steps at all, I have my loving Father watching over my every move. Just like I keep an eye on the baby as she learns to walk, God constantly watches over me as well. Whether the baby takes 2 steps or 17, when she falls I am there to rush to her and comfort her and encourage her to get up to try again. Just as our Heavenly Father does. Whether you, like me, feel stalled right now, or you're leaping walls, your Father is right there to catch you, to delight in you and watch over your every step.