Thursday, October 15, 2009

I want to go Home

Are you the type of person who remembers their dreams? Or the kind who doesn't remember dreaming?
My husband doesn't usually remember his dreams. But I can still remember some of mine from when I was a toddler. I dream every night, quite vividly, and I remember them quite well. I often have bad dreams. The kind that wake me up screaming, or make me toss and turn a lot. But sometimes I have good ones... like flying dreams. I love those. The dreams I don't like are ones about people that have hurt me... I am still haunted by dreams of lost loved ones or people that were mean to me. I pray often that God will end those dreams because I really don't like them. But then I wake up, and I have that feeling of them fading, and sometimes, I have that... that feeling... of... "what just happened?" And unreality sets in, and I beging to forget what someone said, of what my dream was about. As I wake up in my bed, the dream fades, and exact words and faces and the experience I was just having in my dream becomes unreal, and the reality of my day takes over.
I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago. It was a day I was particularly hurting over the past. Wanting to get away. Often I just long for Home. My heavenly Home. I often, when I get upset, begin to cry to God, "I want to go home!" I just want to go home to heaven so badly-- for some reason, I feel like I miss it. I know that I wasn't made for this Earth. I know that I don't belong here. I feel like I don't fit.
And one day I was walking through the living room telling God once again, "I want to go HOME..." I distinctly heard Him tell me, "Someday, this will all feel like just a dream."
And I knew immediately what He meant.
Someday, my time on earth will end. Whether Jesus comes to get me in the Rapture or I leave the Earth through another means, my time will come to an end here. And that is okay. I'm not afraid. And someday, I will wake up in my real Home. And as I wake up there, my time here in this training ground called Earth will all have been like a dream, a temporary place I was put until I got to my real Home. And as I wake up in the Heavenly Realm with my Jesus, and I face my Lord and see His beautiful and perfect face, the memories and hurts and injuries of the time here will quickly fade, and the Real Reality of my true Home will take over. Someday all of this will be a dream, and Heaven, which seems so unreal now, will be Real. I cannot wait.


Your Sis said...

I say this to myself sometimes too. I used to not know what I meant when I said it. There used to be no safe place for me. But now I know that I'm talking about my heavenly home, and sometimes I desperately want to go there too! I'm just very glad that we're both Christians and that my kids are Christians and someday we'll all be together in that amazing place. I can't wait.

Lizzy said...

Our going home is so much closer than we realize. I've had a glimpse of heaven. I've seen Jesus. I, like you, have a longing to go home that is so, sooo overwhelming I can think of nothing more. But hold tight to your faith and to Jesus. We will be with Him soon. Very soon. I know from my experience that it IS worth the wait. God Bless!