Monday, November 5, 2012

still waiting

Has there ever been something you really wanted that you prayed for for a really long time?years, even? how do you know when to give up?how do you know when to keep pushing through, and continue praying and hoping? this is something i am struggling with again. there is something in particular i started praying for in 1984. and i am still waiting on it. its something that i hope is Gods will for me-- i think its a good thing to pray for-- and yet still i wait. and pray. and wait. and wonder. and talk to Jesus about it some more. sometimes i cry, because its something i want something so badly...something that everyone i know already has, and i have never why not me too? what is God trying to teach me? what does He want from me, anyway?
there is another thing i have been praying for for over a year. every day. i have had many, many people, probably thousands, helping me pray. Yet God has chosen to not make it happen yet. and i wonder some more, what he is doing behind the scenes,what he is working out, what i am supposed to learn in the meantime.
its hard. its a challenge. sometimes i handle it all well, resting in the knowledge that God has a master plan,that he knows everything i truly need, that he will give me these things at the proper time. sometimes i handle it all poorly,like a spoiled 3 year old-- i want it, why dont you give it to me NOW!? i 'm tired of asking! most days i hover somewhere inbetween, praying and hoping and trying to make it through another day as i wait. and i hope--- and hope. and hope. because whether i get what i pray for or not,God is still good.he is still worthy of my worship and my love. so i will keep on hoping, and waiting.


Michelle's Day said...

NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!!!!! Don't give up hoping and praying for whatever it is you want (unless, I guess, if it's something bad, but I'm sure you're not wanting something contrary to God's Word). Do NOT give up hope!!!!!

I've been going through some super rough stuff the past few months. And there's no end in sight. But I'm trying to follow my own advice here. Never give up hope! And find the pieces of beauty that are somewhere every single day.

Pearl de Theophania said...

I agree with Michelle. Unless you get a definitely answer from the Lord do NOT give up!

Easier said than done with you're in the middle of the wilderness. But surround yourself with understanding encouraging christian friends, listen to teachings (Joyce Meyer is my favorite), listen to positive music. Where the mind goes, the man follows. =) i'll be praying for you!